I got a comment from @TrulyHeidi on the blog post “Feel the love, you mean ol’ hag.” Being the windbag that I am, my reply turned into a blog post of its own. Granted, it’s a short one by my standards, but probably pretty average for most bloggers. Here’s what she wrote:
{First of all… I have to agree about your sense of fashion}… Secondly, why aren’t you writing for a living? … Thirdly, you two are the mushiest couple I know! Just because your “I love you’s” translate into “hot vittles” and “midnight potty trips” doesn’t make a difference! Please give The Evil Overlord a knuckle punch for me!
So Heidi, here’s my response for all to read:
Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. Now to address these issues one at a time:
First: Yes, it’s good when people know their limitations. As for my fashion sense, I’ve often said, “I wear the pants in the family. It’s just that she tells me which pair to wear.” Sadly, that’s true. I’d rather have my clothes picked and laid out than get that eyeroll when I try to dress myself.
Second: I don’t write for a living because I haven’t found anyone stupid enough to pay me for it yet. If you know any mentally unstable editors, please feel free to forward a sample of my work to them. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave out the bit where I called them stupid and mentally unstable.
Third: Yes, the subliminal mush factor is high with The Evil Overlord and I. However, we should probably change the subject. I wouldn’t want her to realize it and be forced to smack me with a shoe to restore the balance.
Lastly: I give The Evil Overlord regular knuckle punches when we play the Slug Bug game. That’s the game where she punches me in the arm as hard as she can when she sees a Volkswagen Beetle before I do. When I see one first, I give her a light arm punch, which in turn, somehow manages to award her another all-out shot to my arm. Why do I go along with these rules? Wait… don’t answer that.
Todd: If your not careful your go’in have ALL kinds of people having you give “The Evil Overlord” arm punches!! At which point she may be behind the wheel of that thar Big Rig Chasing YOU around the parking lot for your morning excerise…IF your NOT careful!!
Thanks for your concern. Unfortunately, she already does this without needing extra arm punches as motivation. She’s even been known to unhook the trailer for better manueverability. 😉
Gosh, I wish I could send the Evil Overlord pictures of the VW Beetles I have owned so she could slug you anytime she wanted. What is her email address?
I regret to inform you that The Evil Overlord has recently joined a religious cult whose only restrictions are email and lime jello. I’m sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
Dude! I REALLY DOUBT that religious cult restrictions ARE GO’IN KEEP The Evil Overlord from PUNCH’IN YOU IN THE ARM, FOR ANY REASON!! AH, YES!! DROPP’IN THE TRAILER FOR BETTER MANUEVERABILITY … YOUR IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER!!
I stand corrected. The Evil Overlord probably wouldn’t be a good cult follower. She’s much more likely to be the leader.
ummm… can we substitute the words “stupid” and “unstable” with… “eccentric” and “good-humored” please?
Thanks so much.
Whatever works for you. 🙂
All Hail the Evil Overlord – if, for no other reason, she has trained you NOT to pick out your own clothes. She is awesome. When The man presented me with a hypothetical situation wherein we would reside together, he asked me if I would throw out all his clothes. The answer: ABSOLUTELY! Forewarned is forearmed.
If he dressed anything like I used to, I fully support your donation to Goodwill.
Haha very funny!! :p